现在越来越多的父母关注教育问题，那么今天教给大家几个教育该有的态度。
今年52岁的曾海燕曾任吉隆坡乐圣华小副校长，她坦承自己是「怪兽家长」，曾经采用鞭打式的教养方式。「我在学校是一名颇有名气的老师，当时每个人都关注我孩子的表现，但我女儿在学业上就是差强人意。」因碍于面子，不想被外界看不起，即便孩子不是「读书的料」，她也不理会，坚持采用鞭打的教育方式，期望棒下出孝子。 「结果，我在同一时间伤害了两个孩子。」
她忆述，当时7岁的长女就读一年级，儿子4岁。 「那时女儿因为没有做功课，所以被鞭打，但我忽略了儿子躲在楼梯间，看到我鞭打他姐姐的情景。」她愧疚地说，直到女儿表现异常，她才警觉自己用错了方式。 「当时我和女儿都被学校的辅导老师召见，进行辅导。」曾海燕坦言，她的教育方式导致女儿心理出现状况，也令儿子留下阴影。 「现在儿子虽已长大成人，但他做任何事情都小心翼翼，害怕做错事会遭受打骂。」
经一事长一智，如今的她体会到，孩子并不是父母争面子的道具。 「不要为了面子关係，一再强迫孩子成为你心目中的满分，而该学会接受和包容孩子的不完美。」女儿今年26岁了，虽然最终没有完成大学学业，但曾海燕说，没关係，只要女儿快乐就好。
后来的曾海燕，无论对自己孩子还是对校内学生皆不再抱持「成绩就是一切」的想法，而是注重孩子们的身心灵发展。 「学校裡曾有一名学生，总是名列前茅，表现非常出色。升学时，被父母送到新加坡。」她说，该学生从小在父母的溺爱和保护下成长，独自在外求学和生活时，没办法适应，最终因为心理压力问题暂时休学。
「比起第一名，沟通能力更重要」
没有满分的孩子，也没有满分的父母。孩子也是父母学习的对象，我们和孩子一同学习、成长。
李薇薇．兽医．育有3子
李薇薇从小就是年年第一的资优生，但踏入大学、走进社会后，才发现「第一名」并没什么值得骄傲的。她以过来人的经历分享，只有具备良好的沟通能力，才有办法在社会上立足，解决问题。即便自己是兽医，丈夫是医生，夫妻俩皆为专业人士，但比起学术成绩，他们更注重孩子们的品德素质及沟通能力。 「我们都知道，未来的世界已不再需要一个学贯中西的机器人，而是需要一个创造者。」
「高度自我要求非与生俱来，成长环境是关键」
把陪伴孩子的时间纳进时间表内，别错过孩子的成长过程。回到家，我们就是孩子的妈妈，放下职场上的威严和情绪。因为有快乐的父母，才会有快乐的小孩。
李雯怡．临床心理师．育有2女
李薇薇坦言，大儿子天资聪明，不少人认为，他的「智力商数」比一般人来得高。 「我们并没有刻意带他去做测试，因为我们希望他可以快乐成长，不必背负『天才儿童』的无形压力。」
根据临床经验，李雯怡说，这世上并没有「天生」就自我要求高的孩子。对此，李薇薇迟疑了一下，说：「或许是我给予的肯定？」李薇薇虽然没设定标杆，但倘若孩子们表现出色，她也不会吝于讚赏。而且，大儿子自小就懂得察言观色，在他1岁左右，外婆曾拿著两个玩具让他选择。 「我当时觉得他原本想拿玩具A，但他看了一下外婆的表情，似乎意识到外婆比较希望他拿玩具B，所以最后他真的拿了B玩具。」
李雯怡表示，孩子们常会依据能否获得他人肯定来决定行动。因此当父母们在称讚孩子时，必须针对孩子的行为。她举例，孩子在考试中考获好成绩，父母应该称讚：「那天你努力温习，看到成果了，很好！」而不是「孩子，你好棒哦！」两者的差别在于，后者的说法会促使孩子开始产生好胜心，觉得「只要我表现厉害，就会获得父母的讚扬。」
曾海燕则认为，孩子们的高度自我要求也与大环境有关。她说，目前有很多小学生已经开始担心自己无法进入好学校。他们从网上就可以接收到很多资讯，意识到如果成绩不够好，就没办法就读Band 1中学。曾海燕解释，马来西亚中学与香港一样，有评级之分：Band 1到Band 5。「Band 3至Band 5的学校就像是港剧裡演的一样，有很多纪律不好的学生，学校整体管理也不好。」但她责问，为什么学校要因为评级低而自我放弃？「难道被标上『band 5』等级，校方就只能抱持爱理不理的态度？」她说，每间学校都有纪律不好的学生，但只要校方严厉管制，相信还是可以控制。
从李薇薇的言语中，看得出她是一个十分用心的妈妈，她不仅积极参与儿童亲子教育课程，也经常阅读育儿书籍。「因为我想教好我的孩子。」她认为，这世上并没有所谓的满分孩子，因为她自己也非满分父母。「没有满分父母，只有不断学习的父母。」李薇薇说，自己在不断学习如何当一个好父母，而孩子也是她的学习对象。
育有2女的李雯怡亦表示，每个父母都有责任抽出时间陪伴孩子，然而她口中的陪伴，是只有你和孩子（其中一个）。
给孩子足够的时间
「所以如果你有3个孩子，你就必须抽出时间，分别和3个孩子独处。」每个孩子都希望独佔父母一段时间，而在这段时间裡，只有他和妈妈。「我们称为『Quality time』（优质时光）。」建议若没办法每天给予孩子独处时间，每星期3天，每次15分钟也已经足够。「在15分钟里，父母扮演的角色就是聆听者，而非指摘或检讨。」
Zeng haiyan, 52, a former deputy principal of Kuala Lumpurs le senh wah primary school, admits to being a "monster parent" who used to flog her children."
I was a famous teacher at school and everyone was looking at my childs performance, but my daughter just didn do well academically."
Learn by doing, now she realized that children are not parents face props."Don try to force your child to be perfect again and again in order to save face. Instead, learn to accept and accept your childs imperfections."it doesn matter, as long as my daughter is happy.
"Communication skills are more important than first place."
There are no perfect children and no perfect parents.Children are also the object of parents learning. We learn and grow together with children.
Lisa stearns.The vet.Married with three children
Li weiwei has been the first gifted and excellent student every year since she was a child, but after entering the university and the society, she found that "the first" is nothing to be proud of.She shares her experiences with others.
Only with good communication skills, can she find a way to get a foothold in the society and solve problems.
Even though they are veterinarians and their husband is a doctor, both of them are professionals, but they pay more attention to their childrens moral qualities and communication skills than academic achievements.
"We all know that the world of the future will no longer need a robot who learns from both east and west, but a creator."
high self requirements are not inherent, the environment is the key to growth.
Incorporate time with your child into your schedule. Don miss out on your childs development.Back home, we are the mothers of our children, letting go of our workplace authority and emotions.Because there are happy parents, there will be happy children.
Li Wenyi.Clinical psychologist.Have two daughters
Li weiwei admitted that her eldest son is gifted and smart, and many people believe that his "intelligence quotient" is higher than the average person."We didn take him to the test because we wanted him to grow up happily and not have to bear the invisible pressure of being a gifted child."
According to clinical experience, li wenyi says, this world does not have "naturally" the child with high ego requirement.To this, li weiwei hesitated for a moment, said: "perhaps I give affirmation?"
Ms. Li doesn set the bar, but she isn shy about praising her children if they do well.Moreover, the eldest son knew how to read and understand since he was a child.
When he was about one year old, his grandmother once held two toys for him to choose from."I thought he was going to get toy A, but he looked at her face and seemed to realize that she wanted toy B, so he did get toy B."
According to li, children often act on the basis of whether they can get affirmation from others.
Therefore, when parents praise their children, they must target their childrens behavior.For example, when a child does well in an exam, a parent should say, "you studied hard that day, and you saw the results. Great!"
"Instead of" boy, how wonderful you are!The difference is that the latter encourages the child to start being competitive, thinking, "if Im good, Im going to get praise from my parents."
Li wenyi, who has two daughters, also said that every parent has the responsibility to spend time with their children.
Give your child enough time
"So if you have three children, you have to make time to be alone with them."Every child wants to monopolize his parents for a period of time, during which only he and his mother are present."We call it Quality time."
"If you can give your child alone time every day, 15 minutes three days a week should be enough."For 15 minutes, the role of the parent is to listen, not to criticize or criticize."
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